My Best Friend and Me

I have so many fun memories of Halloween.  When I was a kid (in the dark ages) our parents just let us go out on our own.  It was a time of innocence. 

Parents didn't worry about perverts, drive bys, or kidnappings.  They were unheard of.  Neighbors watched out for each other.

This was my favorite night because I could go out with my friends and I didn't even have to have my older brother along to spoil the fun.  I was free!!

My best little friend and I would plan, giggle, prepare, giggle, and finally come up with our costume to be presented runway style for our moms.  Then we'd giggle some more.

One particular Halloween, we decided we were going to be a two headed monster.  We were both built like little stick figures, so we got a pair of pants and a shirt from a man that was quite hefty.  I got in one leg, she in the other and zip.  I put one arm in the shirt sleeve, she put one arm in the other and buttoned up. 

The only difficulty was that this was back when men's pant legs were pegged, which means they were very small at the bottom.  So we had two feet popped out of each pant leg that was basically a tourniquet around our ankles.  Not only did we have to get the geisha girl walk down, but we had to coordinate our tiny steps while hugging each other with one arm.  Besides wobbling down the road with our heads banging together, we did pretty good.  Shuffle....shuffle....giggle....bang. 

After staggering and giggling our way through the little community, we started down the scary part of road between her house and mine.  There were some rock cliffs along one side and it had tiny little holes or caves in the cliffs.  Her dad always enjoyed telling us that Indians were buried in those holes and that sometimes at night they would come out.

Well, for two little girls, this was cause for imagination, fear, and of course, giggles.  As we were beginning that spooky stretch of road, we heard someone behind us.  After cracking our heads together several times we were to get a glimpse of a boy behind us.  Not just any boy, but the boy that greased his hair back, wore a white t-shirt with a pack of Marlboro's rolled up in one sleeve, and a black leather jacket on over that.  Yep, he must be dangerous.  We had our own community Fonz. 


Once we were able to keep our heads from knocking together and get turned back around, we got our shuffle into double time.  We may have made sparks, I don't know, but for some reason fear with little girls brings on fits of whisper giggling.  We were whisper giggling uncontrollably and setting off sparks as we shuffled on down the road.

As he got closer and closer I'm not sure our feet were even touching the ground at this point, but he came right up behind us AND..........just walked around us. 

Well, that was pretty anticlimactic.  So, we just shuffled our way around the rest of the neighborhood, got our pillowcases full of candy, went to her house, ate our candy and spent the rest of the evening giggling and enjoying our sugar high.

Memory. It's a Wonderful Thing.

Oh, the joys of getting older.  Isn't it something how that just sitting can cause discomfort.  I look at my little granddaughters and see them sitting with their little legs all twisted and backwards, and I sadly think, "I used to be able to do that."

There's hardly ever a "good night's sleep" anymore.  Sneezing, coughing and even laughing too hard can cause....well, we'll not go there.  Things sag, droop, pop and crack.  Upper arms continue to wave long after the hand stops.  And you find fifty different kinds of moisturizers and wrinkle creams in your bathroom cabinet.

And then there's that memory thing............

What was I saying?

Anyway, yesterday was a fun day filled with memory lapses and moments of complete confusion.  It was my son's birthday so we were all going to meet in town and have a nice dinner out.  All the kids and grandkids were going to be there and we were just going to enjoy the evening.

My husband and I decided to meet so he wouldn't have to drive all the way home, so he parked his car at the Park n Ride several miles from my house, called me to meet him and I was on my way.  After going down the road, I realized I had forgotten my son's birthday gift at home.

Turn around.  Drive back home.  Get gift.....well, get gift after running through the house trying to figure out where I had put it.  Drive back down road.  Go to Park N Ride.  Pick up husband.

Whew.  We're on our way.

We had a really good dinner with lots of laughter, good food, babies playing and opening gifts.  After we all went outside, hugged everyone, looked at the moon with the babies and sang, "Oh Mister Moon", we said goodbye and were on our way home.

On the way home, I was asking my husband to look at something or read something (I don't know....I forget) anyway, he needed to use his eyes. He began to look for his glasses.  In his pants pockets?  Not there.  In shirt pocket?  Nope.  In my purse?  Nada.

Stop the car!  Turn around.  We called the restaurant but they said they didn't find them.  We told them we would come back anyway and look for them because maybe he had dropped them in the parking lot.  So, we're on our way back and I ask him to reach something in the backseat.  Again, I don't remember what it was, but evidently it was important enough for me to pull over because he couldn't reach whatever it was.

I stop, he gets out of the car, looks down and picks up glasses out of the floor.  Well, how about that.  So now we're on our way home....again.

We're in deep discussion about something.  Again, I don't remember what, but we were engrossed.  We drive up the driveway, pull into the garage, get out and realize.....we left his car at the Park N Ride.

Oh well.  We're happy.

Lord, Help Us All

The past few days I've been in kind of a melancholy frame of mind.  There's so much turmoil going on right now in our nation that has friends barking and snapping at each other because their views are different. 

Divorce is rampant.  Families are feuding.  Children hate their parents.  Moms and dads  just walk off and leave their kids, never looking back.  People hating the religious, and many religions hating people. Different races at war, and wars going on all over the planet.  People screaming tolerance, yet not tolerant of anyone that disagrees with them.  Road rage...school rage....violent rage.

What in the world?  What has happened to us?  Where are we headed?

Looking back, I can remember my grandfather, Papa, never learning to drive.  He walked everywhere he went and when seen walking, sometimes someone would stop and see if he needed a ride.  That was a time when kindness was the motive.  It was great living in that kind of society. 

My brother and I would ride our bikes or  skateboards all over our neighborhood in Knoxville.  People watched out for each other, and honestly cared about each other.  It was a fun, carefree time.

I'm not naïve enough to think that bad things didn't happen back then, I absolutely know it did, but it wasn't the norm.  People were genuinely surprised to hear about acts of hatred and violence.  It was the exception to hear of hatred, violence, murder, and abuse.  Today, it's become so normal that we hardly even take notice of such acts.

I've tried to figure it out and the only thing that makes sense to me is control.  We've become so self serving and self engrossed that anything that dares to disturb our self absorption becomes the object of our tirades.

That guy that pulled out in front of us made us angry.  Why?  We couldn't control his driving.  We couldn't control him, we couldn't make him wait until we had passed by.

That person that we just had a fight with because they don't vote the same way we do, or have the same religious views.  We get angry because we can't control their thinking.  We can't make them see things the way we do.

Those poor, deluded children who think they have the right to go into school and kill other students because they couldn't control what their peers thought of them. 

That husband, wife, friend, or family member that we just argued with, that we've talked about, that we may have even gotten violent with, is the object of our anger because of our inability to control what we think they should say, how they should act, what they should do.

I wonder why we all  have gotten to that point that we think a person should suffer our wrath just because they didn't do as we expected.  We  don't stop to think that maybe we're wrong, maybe we judged too harshly, or maybe we don't have a clue what that person is dealing with.  And then we
act surprised because there are repercussions for our outbursts.  We're surprised that our blood pressure is out of hand.  We're surprised that we are plagued with headaches and illnesses.  We're surprised when friends walk out of our lives.  We're surprised when we're overloaded with guilt and depression.

Who wins?  Who walks away unscathed?  No one.  We can never unsay a word.  We can never undo a deed.  We can never make someone unhear  or unsee something. 

Lord help us all....me especially, that I use control to sensor me, that I may guard my words and my actions, that I may try to emulate Christ's example of what I should be, that I may "do unto others" only those things that God would be pleased with.  I want to be that person that is understanding....that person that loves....that person that is kind.


Ephesians 4:29  Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

Ephesians 4:32  And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.

Way To Go!!!

How awesome is this kid!  My thirteen year old, autistic, ADHD diagnosed grandson ran in a cross country event yesterday for his team.

Our Zach has had quite a struggle his young life.  He has impulses and uncontrolled behaviours that most of us don't understand.  He doesn't understand them either.  After a particular violent episode a few years ago, he was sitting calmly and asked, "Grammy, what's wrong with me?"

Most people think, "just spank his behind" or "put him in a corner for timeout" and that will take care of the problem.  That's because so many of us have no idea what autism is much less how to deal with it.  Even the "professionals" are at a loss and just try hit and miss strategies.

But in spite of having to spend almost two years in a home for autistic kids, away from his family, going to a different school and trying to learn new behaviours, coming back home and being thrown into, yet, another new school, he's coping.

Now, Zach is in middle school, competing on the track team and making friends.  And, can I say at this point, that not all teenagers out there are selfish, mean, drug induced zombies.  As a matter of fact, that depiction is such a small minority of the kids at Zach's school, it's not even worth mentioning.  These kids have opened their minds to autism, have opened their arms to a fellow team mate, and opened their hearts to his friendship.

Yesterday, I watched as Zach ran and laughed with his friends.  I saw him spend time with other people and not just cling on to his mom.  As he ran across the field with a couple of his buddies getting ready for their event, I yelled to him, "I WANT TO SEE YOU PASS EVERYONE, BUDDY!"  He turned to me and a smile split his face and he yelled back, "I will!"

You see, Zach has such a tender heart that he doesn't want to pass his friends.  He'll hang back and not get a reward just so he doesn't beat his pals. 

When I heard the cannon boom, I knew Zach would be rounding the corner to where I was waiting.  I was standing there in anticipation, stretching my neck, looking for our Zach.  He was looking for me, too, and I think we spotted each other at the same time and he had a grin that went all the way around his head.  He was beaming as he heard me yelling and cheering for him.  As he went by me with that face splitting grin, I was choked up.  Yep.  There I stood among cheering parents and friends, crying.  I was crying for all the hard times, all the heart aches, all the struggles just washed away because he was one of them.  He was a team mate.  He was a fellow teenager.  He was a friend.  AND, he was in the lead!!

Since it was a two mile run, there was time for me to walk up to the finish line and wait.  A few boys ran by and I kept thinking that maybe he was just not up to it,  or maybe he quit because it was such a long way, but then I saw him.  I saw him coming up over the hill toward the line.  He wasn't grinning now, he was sweating...profusely, but he was running!  He didn't quit!  He was giving it every thing he had!

Our Zach came in EIGTH out of six different middle schools!  Woohoo!!!!  Way to go buddy!!

When he came over to where his mom and I were standing after finishing, he asked his mom if they could go get something to eat.  Typical teenage boy.  I gave him some money to make sure he could go get a hotdog or something after the meet.  He stood there and counted it.  Typical teenage boy.